The Talent Competition
by Batise
Summary: Alice forces the family to sing a song for the talent comp and there not all love songs *funny**one-shot*


BPOV (Bella's still human)

* * *

Alice ran in screaming and brandishing a poster for the town talent show.

"we HAVE to do this" she announced everyone groaned though they knew they would do it eventually.

" we have to sing a song each" Alice continued

* * *

The town hall was crowded. No-one (except Alice) knew what the other was singing

We went one after another and I went first as I would not go on after the angel voices and pitied everyone who did plus my performance would be washed out.

It was my turn after about 20 performers so I walked up on the stage and got announced

"Bella Swan singing 'not such an innocent girl'

Ooh-ooh baby  
Hey, oh-whoa, baby  
I'm not such an innocent girl

First impressions can be wrong  
So let me clear what's going on  
Baby I'm not who you think I am  
I need to feel some lips on mine  
So pulling you across the line  
You think I'm the fragile one  
One slip, the damage done

I'm not made of china  
I'm not made of glass  
Would it shatter your illusions if this angel had a past?

If you touch me I won't break  
Don't think of me that way  
I'm not such an innocent girl  
Don't wrap me up in cotton wool (come on)  
Upon a pedestal (oh whoa)  
I'm not such an innocent girl  
(I'm not such an innocent)

I've got a secret rose tattoo  
I'm dying just to show you  
I'm not as shy as you think I am, oh baby  
It's time to take off those kid gloves  
T.K.O me fall in love  
Don't be scared you'll break my heart  
Not gonna fall apart

I'm not made of china (ooh)  
I'm not made of glass  
Would it shatter your illusions if this angel had a past?

If you touch me I won't break (oh-oh)  
Don't think of me that way  
I'm not such an innocent girl (innocent girl)  
Don't wrap me up in cotton wool (don't wrap me up, in cotton wool)  
Upon a pedestal  
I'm not such an innocent girl  
(I'm not such an innocent, girl)

If you touch  
If you touch me I  
If you touch me I won't break  
If you touch  
If you touch me I  
If you touch me I won't

If you touch me I won't break (oh-oh, oh whoa, whoa-yeah)  
Don't think of me that way  
I'm not such an innocent girl (innocent girl)  
Don't wrap me up in cotton wool (come on, woo!)  
Upon a pedestal  
I'm not such an innocent girl (I'm dying just to show you)

If you touch me I won't break (I won't break)  
Don't think of me that way  
Not such an innocent girl  
Don't wrap me (no-oh-whoa)  
I'm not such an innocent girl

If you touch me I won't break (I won't break)  
Don't think of me that way  
I'm not such an innocent girl  
Don't wrap me up in cotton wool (don't wrap me up, in cotton wool)  
Upon a pedestal (Upon a pedestal)  
I'm not such an innocent girl

If you touch me I won't break  
(If you touch, no I won't fall apart)  
Don't think of me that way  
(No you won't break my heart)

I cant believe I just did that.

Luckily I waited until after the song was done to trip and fall off stage. I heard gasps but I fell right into the arms of Edward who was next.

"you **do **break easily" he contradicted

" im not such an innocent girl" I recited he let me go and walked on stage.

"Edward Cullen singing Beautiful girls"

Your way too beautiful girl  
That's why it'll never work  
You had me suicidal, suicidal  
When you say it's over

Damn all these beautiful girls  
They only wanna do your dirt  
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal  
When they say it's over

JR! Sean Kingston!

Your way too beautiful girl  
That's why it'll never work  
You had me suicidal, suicidal  
When you say it's over  
Damn all these beautiful girls  
They only wanna do your dirt  
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal  
When they say it's over

See it started at the park  
Used to chill after dark  
Oh, when you took my heart  
That's when we fell apart  
Cause we both thought  
That love lasts forever (lasts forever)  
They say we're too young  
To get ourselves sprung  
Oh we didn't care  
We made it very clear  
And they also said  
That we couldn't last together (last together)

See it's very divine girl  
You're a one of a kind  
But you mash up my mind  
You walked get declined  
Oh Lord...  
My baby is driving me crazy

Your way to beautiful girl  
That's why it'll never work  
You had me suicidal, suicidal  
When you say it's over  
Damn all these beautiful girls  
They only wanna do your dirt  
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal  
When they say it's over

It was back in '99  
Watchin' movies all the time  
Oh when I went away  
For doin' my first crime  
And I never thought  
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)  
And then I came out  
Mami moved me down South  
Oh I'm with my girl  
Who I thought was my world  
It came out to be  
That she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)

See it's very divine girl  
You're a one of a kind  
But you mash up my mind  
You walked get declined  
Oh Lord...  
My baby is driving me crazy

Your way too beautiful girl  
That's why it'll never work  
You had me suicidal, suicidal  
When you say it's over  
Damn all these beautiful girls  
They only wanna do your dirt  
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal  
When they say it's over

Now we're fussin'  
And now we're fightin'  
Please tell me why  
I'm feelin' slighting  
And I don't know  
How to make it better (make it better)  
You're datin' other guys  
You're tellin' me lies  
Oh I can't believe  
What I'm seein' with my eyes  
I'm losin' my mind  
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)

You're way too beautiful girl  
That's why it'll never work  
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal...

(A/N can you imagine Edward singing this, me neither I just liked the lyrics)

he came off and gave me a kiss

"me next" Esme sang and hopped on stage

"Esme Cullen singing those boys do nothing" ( A/N changed the lyrics a bit)

I got men with two left feet

And when they dance down to the beat

I really think that they should know

That their rhythms go go go

I got men with two left feet

And when they dance down to the beat

I really think that they should know

That thier rhythm go go go

Do they wash up? Never wash up

Do they clean up? No, they never clean up

Do they brush up? Never brushed up

they do nothing those boys do nothing

Hey boys how you been?

I got a thousand lines

Where do I begin?

And II been here, been there

Traveling

I saw you at the corner

My vibe kicked in

And

Two fields

I clock you

Wearing tight jeans

A real nice suit

He was smiling like you

Was just seventeen

I asked him for a dance

He said 'yes please'

Take a sip of dancing juice

Everybody's onto you

Through the left and to the right

Everybody hit the rhythm

It's on tonight

I'm gonna feel the heat within my soul

I need a man to take control

Let the melody blow you all away

Do they wash up? Never wash up

Do they clean up? No, they never clean up

Do they brush up? Never brushed up

they do nothing those boys does nothing

Work it out now

Work it, Work it out now

Do the mumbo

Shake it all around now

Everybody on the floor

Let me see you clap your hands

I wanna see you work

I wanna see you move your body in turn

I wanna see you shake your hips and learn

I wanna see you work it, work it, work it out now

I wanna see you work

I wanna see you move your body in turn

I wanna see you shake your hips and learn

I wanna see you work it, work it, work it out now

Do they wash up? Never wash up

Do they clean up? No, they never clean up

Do they brush up? Never brushed up

they do nothing those boys do nothing

And if the men can't dance, they gets no second chance

"Awesome" us girls screamed while the guys huffed beside the wall. We all hugged Esme at once

"you showed them" we laughed

Carlisle next

"Next up is Carlisle Cullen singing Witch doctor"

-Hey Witchdoctor, give us the magic words.  
-All right, you go: ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang wallawallabingbang

All right!  
ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang wallawallabingbang (x4)

doo doo doodoo doo doo doo

ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang wallawallabingbang (x4)

doo doo doo doo  
I told the witchdoctor, I was in love with you  
doo doo doo doo  
I told the witchdoctor, I was in love with you  
doo doo doo doo  
And than the witchdoctor, he told me what to do

he told me:  
ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang wallawallabingbang (x4)

doo doo doo doo  
I told the witchdoctor, you didn't love me true  
doo doo doo doo  
I told the witchdoctor, you didn't love me nice  
doo doo doo doo  
And than the witchdoctor, he gave me this advice

ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang wallawallabingbang (x4)

You can keep your love from me just like you were a miser,  
And I'll admit it wasn't very smart, (eyeyeyey)  
But I went out to find my-self a guy that's so much wiser,  
And he told me the way to win your heart:

doo doo doodoo doo doo doo  
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (do do do do do do do)  
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (do do do do do do do)  
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (do do do do do do do)  
ooh eeh ooh ahah,... (do do do do do do do)  
ooh eeh ooh ahah, tingtang wallawallabingbang

Come on and:  
ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang wallawallabingbang (x4)

ooh ee ooh ah ah

(A/N can you imaging Carlisle singing this, I was rolling on the floor laughing)

Every single person in the hall (which was practically the entire population of Forks) was rolling around laughing at Carlisle.

"Rosalie Hale singing beautiful"

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderfu

That's the way it is

I am beautiful no matter what they say  
Words can't bring me down  
I am are beautiful in every single way  
Yes, words can't bring me down  
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do  
(no matter what we do)  
No matter what they say  
(no matter what they say)  
When the sun is shining through  
Then the clouds won't stay

And everywhere we go  
(everywhere we go)  
The sun won't always shine  
(sun won't always shine)  
But tomorrow will find a way  
All the other times

'cause I am beautiful no matter what they say  
Yes, words won't bring me down, oh no  
I am beautiful in every single way  
Yes, words can't bring us down  
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today  
Don't you bring me down today

" now Jasper Hale singing you are the music in me"

Na na na na  
Na na na na yeah  
You are the music in me  
You know the words  
"Once Upon A Time"  
Make you listen?  
There's a reason.  
When you dream there's a chance you'll find  
A little laughter  
or happy ever after  
your harmony to the melody  
It's echoing inside my head  
A single voice (Single voice)  
Above the noise  
And like a common thread  
Hmm, you're pulling me  
When I hear my favorite song  
I know that we belong  
Oh, you are the music in me  
Yeah it's living in all of us  
And it's brought us here because  
Because you are the music in me  
Na na na na (Ohh)  
Na na na na na  
Yeah yeah yeah  
(Na na na na)  
You are the music in me  
It's like I knew you before we met (Before we met)  
Can't explain it (Ohh ohh)  
There's no name for it (No name for it)  
I'm saying words I never said  
And it was easy (So easy)  
Because you see the real me (I see)  
As I am You understand  
And that's more than I've ever known  
To hear your voice (Hear your voice)  
Above the noise (Ohh ohh)  
And no, I'm not alone  
Oh you're singing to me (Ohh yeah)  
When I hear my favorite song  
I know that we belong (Yeah ohh)  
You are the music in me  
It's living in all of us  
And it's brought us here because  
You are the music in me  
Together we're gonna sing (Yeah)  
We got the power to sing what we feel (What we feel)  
Connected and real  
Can't keep it all inside (Ohh)  
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)  
Na na na na na (Ohh yeah)  
Yeah yeah yeah (Na na na na)  
You are the music in me (In me)  
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)  
Na na na na na (Ohh yeah)  
Na na na na  
You are the music in me  
When I hear my favorite song (Favorite song)  
I know that we belong (We belong)  
You are the music in me  
Yeah it's living in all of us  
It's brought us here because (Here because)  
You are the music in me  
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)  
Na na na na (Ohh yeah)  
Na na na na  
You are the music in me (Yeah)

"Alice Cullen singing girls just wanna have fun"

I come home in the morning light  
My mother says when you gonna live your life right  
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones  
And girls they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have fun

The phone rings in the middle of the night  
My father yells what you gonna do with your life  
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one  
But girls they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have--

That's all they really want  
Some fun  
When the working day is done  
Girls-- they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have fun

Some boys take a beautiful girl  
And hide her away from the rest of the world  
I want to be the one to walk in the sun  
Oh girls they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want  
Some fun  
When the working day is done  
Girls--they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have fun,  
They want to have fun,  
They want to have fun...

"now Emmett Cullen singing….erm….it doesn't say I suppose he just sings"

Oops!  
... I did it again.  
I played with your heart.  
Got lost in the game.  
Oh, baby; baby.  
Oops!  
... You think I'm in love.  
That I'm sent from above...  
I'm not that innocent.

(oops I did it again)

He's a one stop shop,

makes my cherry pop  
He's a sweet-talkin',

sugar coated candy man oh  
A sweet-talkin',

sugar coated candyman

(candyman)

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic,

it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair,

undress me everywhere  
Imagination,

life is your creation

(Barbie girl)

You get the best of

Emmett, Chilling out

Take it slow then you

Rock out the show

(Hannah Montana, altered)

Bob the builder

Can he fix it

Bob the builder

Yes he can

(bob the builder)

there was a pause before quiet applause

"you've been Awesome" Emmett shouted before jumping off stage.

We Exited the hall and I think we are going to be remembered a long time!!

* * *

**_some of the songs went weird and left spaces inbetween lines. cant help it sorry_**


End file.
